Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Cobs, Rolls, Barmcake, Bap or Kummelweck?

When your on the piss the old adage goes eating's cheating, and it is - it bloody is.  But lets face it - you would have to be some kind cunt to go on a massive all dayer and not have something to eat - my mate swears by five pounds of mashed potato - the fucking cunt.

Take last Saturday, I was on the smash and had done a fair few Magners.  Smoking Luckies as well I hasten to add.  Anyhoo - I got a bit peckish and was feeling a bit pissed so I headed into the bar.  Now then round my way (the black country) we are lucky enough to have crusty cobs - absolute manna from heaven for the casual drunk, the full on piss can or the greedy fucker.  You may know them better as baps, barmcakes, Oatcakes, StottiesBreakfast RollsTeacake or some shit from America called a kummelweck.

 Look at those bad boys and a quid a pop is a right result

A crusty cob is basically a fucking meal in a roll.  Has salad in it, so one of your five a day is covered, everyone is a fucking winner. And surely if you drink the amount of Cider I got through last Saturday there must be at least another one of your five a day in there. so Professor Dame Sally Davies is going to be well happy.  She Might be a bit pissed off Magners has 2.6 units per bottle mind.

Anyway back to the cobs.  I opted for the rather conservative Ham salad, but they do the lot - Cheese salad, Corn beef and pickle, ham and beetroot and the marvelous Black pudding, cheese and onion.  Bloody hell.  All at a pound each.  Old Hill Cricket Club will even make up any cob you fancy - so next week Black Pudding, Cheese and brown sauce please. 

Look at this greedy cunt, not only a cob but a fucking samosa as well.


Cone Head said...

You fat caaaaant! Eating while on the piss????? next you will be wearing nail varnish! You fart knockin fat Caaannt

silver machine said...

Well you're all booze pups....the REAL drinker quaffs amphetamines....it's great for losing weight as well.