The hairest scratching ever?

Regular reader and chronic flatulence sufferer Randy Denguefever was recently on the smash in the excellent boozer the lord clifden which is in the wonderfully named Great Hampton Street, I have a great hampton in case you were wondering, and decided it was scratching time.  By the way it's fourty nine words in and still no swearing, cuntsticks, that's better.

Anyway a packet of scratching was purchased and consumed, bar one - check this fucker out!!!

Now I like a  scratching or two.  Well - I like fucking loads of the cunts but this is pushing it too far.  I could not eat it - but if you think your up for it mail me your address and I'll happily send it to you, as long as you video/photo yourself eating it so I can put it on here and swear at you.  You cunt.

Scratchings ARE good for you!

Yep you read it here, probably second or more than likely fourth, but by all accounts the scratching has health benefits.  Cock a doodle doo.  According the finest bastion of British journalism The Daily Mail, I've always believed every word that fucking rag has printed, honest, the humble scratching is indeed up there in the rarefied company of Blueberries, acai berries, Flax seeds and Quinoa (what ever the fuck that is) as a super food.  yeah that's fucking right you cunts - there good for you!

So according to some cunt who plainly does not get out enough:

"Two-thirds of all its fat is actually mono and polyunsaturated fats, beneficial for heart health, with 13 per cent of its fat coming from stearic acid, a type of saturated fat that doesn't raise cholesterol levels,"

 Fuck me - it's even better than I thought - almost all the fat in them is good for you - cocking hell.  There must be a caveat though - there must be.

"Because what you're eating is concentrated collagen from skin, it has an amazingly high protein content to keep you feeling full, and benefits muscle and bone health."

Jesus - this is getting better and better, so there made of good fat, high in protein and keep me strong - like a fucking bull.  Tell me there's no fucking catch - please???

"The main health concern is its salt content, so moderate your consumption"

 Fuck sticks.  Fucking salt police.

if you want to read the full article - although I wouldn't bother as I have basically cut and past the whole thing already you can find it here