Southern Benders

It seems our Southern (bender) cousins, I can say this with complete impunity as I am essentially from France, have had enough of scampi fries and fucking frazzles and are also jumping on the scratching band wagon.  The cunts.

Regular reader and long time bender Marco Tagliatelle-carbonara-plastico-De-wop sent me these frankly shit pictures fucking ages ago with some dull text that I have since lost. 

I can imagine the majority know what is coming next...Yes complete fabrication of the exact events.

Never let the truth get in the way of a lame attempt at humour, thats what my old nan told me before she got stuck into a bottle VAT 69.  Anyway over to Marco...

Hi Dan, how are you mate?  I never told you I loved you before you left Dover - well there you have it - I love you and my life, marriage in fact everything is a sham. 

Anyway, got that of me chest, I was out with my beard the other day for a pint, putting on a deep voice and everything, when I clocked some scratchings behind the bar.  "Mans snacks" I said to the inconsequential other half and purchased a pack along side a pint in a ludicrous overtly manly china pint pot.  It's obvious I'm screaming.

Marco - the G&T is yours - we all know.

Any way as suspected they were disgusting and I will never have them again.  On the way home I also clocked this.

I did not put them there - honest

It's like fate - you write a blog about scratchings and I see two packs in one day!  Oh I'm all a tither. 

Anyway I ride bikes now so if you want to see me in Lycra get back down south - love you Marco.

Er......cheers Marco.  Keep up the good work.

More scratching, beer or cigarette related fun as soon as I can be arsed.